In the kingdom of Cuddleland, there lived a woman porcupine. Her real name was Patricia, but everyone called her Patch. She wore a quillproof diaper, which her quills could not pop.
Patch Porcupine was a peasant, but she was very kind. She knew that her quills could poke others and even make them bleed. That was why she carried some patches with her, just in case.
Patch put her patches on Cuddlelanders’ diapers and skin. She knew that it was against the law to litter. Pee-pee, poo-poo, and blood did not belong anywhere on the ground in Cuddleland.
Sometimes, Patch poked a Cuddlelander with her quills by accident. She never meant to hurt anyone, so she always apologized. Then, she helped patch the Cuddlelander’s wound or leak.
One morning, Lady Fluff was changing her diaper in the royal changing room. She had gone pee-pee and poo-poo in her diaper by accident. She doffed her diaper and wiped her bottom thoroughly.
After wiping her bottom, Lady Fluff put a dry, clean diaper on her bottom. She fastened it snugly around her waist with its sticky tabs. She felt much better in her fresh, new diaper.
As Lady Fluff exited the changing room, Patch Porcupine entered the corridor. ‘Good morning, Lady Fluff!’ said Patch, nuzzling Lady Fluff. ‘Good morning, Patch!’ cooed Lady Fluff.
Patch walked behind Lady Fluff’s bottom and sniffed her diaper. ‘You smell pretty as a petunia!’ praised Patch. ‘I just changed my pantsies!’ cooed Lady Fluff, wiggling her bottom.
Patch Porcupine wiggled her bottom to show her quillproof diaper off. Unfortunately, some of her quills poked Princess Helen Horse’s diaper. The princess’s diaper popped and leaked!
Patch gasped in humiliation when she smelled the pee-pee and poo-poo on the floor. ‘Oh, dear!’ she exclaimed, starting to cry. ‘I’m oh, so sorry!’ she apologized, backing away slowly.
Poor Helen blushed in embarrassment over having littered. ‘Pardon me, please, for my leaky diapie!’ she squeaked as she blushed. ‘No pardon necessary,’ announced Lord Bright as he approached.
Lord Bright was a clever and resourceful beaver. He had brought a fresh, new diaper with him in his backpack. He took the diaper out and mopped all the pee-pee and poo-poo up with it.
Patch Porcupine went with Princess Helen and Lady Fluff to the changing room. Patch wanted to atone for having popped Helen’s diaper. ‘May I, please, Lady Fluff?’ she asked the squirrel.
‘Of course, you may, Patch,’ cooed Lady Fluff, changing Helen’s diaper. Patch kept her distance until Lady Fluff asked for help. The porcupine kept her patches at the ready, just in case.
‘Patch, the pantsies, please,’ said Lady Fluff. Patch had a quillproof diaper in the bag that she always carried with her. She took the quillproof diaper out and checked it all over.
Patch handed the quillproof diaper to Lady Fluff. Then, Lady Fluff fastened it very snugly on Helen’s rump. ‘These pantsies will never pop, madam!’ cooed Lady Fluff with a smile.
With a quillproof diaper hugging her rump, Princess Helen neighed for joy. ‘Oh, Patch, thank you very much for saving my rump!’ she whinnied. Patch Porcupine just smiled and nodded her head.
‘Everyone goes poopsie-daisies from time to time,’ remarked Patch. She took some patches out of her bag to show them to Helen. ‘But I can patch any problem up!’ she joked with a giggle.
‘Would you like to sniff my diaper, Your Highness?’ asked Patch. She turned her bottom toward Helen. Then, Helen took a deep breath in, trotted slowly toward Patch, and lay down on her tummy.
Helen was careful enough to keep her muzzle away from Patch’s quills. Helen took a deep breath in through her nose and then smiled. ‘Your puffy pantsies have pretty perfume!’ she cheered.